How Sonic X Should Have Happened
by SuperSonicBoom12
Summary: So, Chris decides to show Sonic what a REAL hedgehog looks like. Let's just say, it doesn't end well. Sonic X Parody One-Shot.


Christopher Thorndyke talked on the phone with his mother. He told her about the strange events that had taken place the night before. Sonic was reclining up in a tree that hung over the balcony that Chris stood on.

Sonic looked down at Chris distastefully as he heard Chris' interesting take on the story.

"-and there was this cat and I jumped in the pool and saved it."

The blue hedgehog heard Ms. Thorndyke reply with worry in her voice. She had told him simply to not do it again despite his love of animals.

Sonic rolled his eyes. He was _not_ an animal. Maybe compared to these _humans _he looked like an animal. But real animals were flickies and little pigs, not hedgehogs. Seriously, where did humans get their information from?

Once Chris was done with his phone conversation, Sonic jumped down from his tree and onto the balcony.

"Take a good look at me. I'm a _hedgehog _not a _cat._" he said with exasperation.

Chris scratched the back of his head and replied, "Yeah, um, please don't be mad. You see, my mom wouldn't understand."

"Why wouldn't she?" Sonic asked as though it was the most understandable thing in the world.

Chris replied saying that his mom knew he wouldn't dive into a pool to save a "little hedgehog".

Ok, first of all, _little? _Sonic was _not _little. And second of all, why wouldn't he? What's he got against hedgehogs?

But all Sonic said out loud was "Really?"

"What else could I say to her? I couldn't tell her that I saved a blue, talking hedgehog. That reminds me! Where and when did you learn how to talk, Sonic?"

Sonic just scratched his head and replied, "Good question. Unfortunately, I don't have a very good answer because I don't remember."

Then the phone rang again, causing Sonic to sigh with annoyance.

It was Chris' father who had heard about his son's 'dangerous stunt' last night.

Dude, he jumped in a pool. Big whoop.

Anyway, Chris started to have a conversation with his dad about how he saved the "cat" and how happy the "cat" was. Sonic just stood there and rolled his eyes. '_I am not a cat. Jeez, maybe I will start calling HUMANS cats from now on. See how they like it.'_ he thought to himself.

"-did the cat scratch you while you were trying to save it?" Chris' dad asked.

"No scratches at all. I'm fine, dad. Honest, I am-"

Sonic then examined his finger tips. Could he even scratch anyone with them? He was wearing gloves, after all.

Eventually, Chris hung up. Sonic sighed again.

Chris chuckled. "I almost forgot, you must be pretty hungry. I was thinking you might like to have something to eat."

Sonic shrugged and replied, "Yeah, I guess I could go for something to eat. What's on the menu?

**"**I checked out hedgehogs on the internet and found the perfect thing!" Chris handed Sonic a bowl of some sort of food. Sonic picked a piece of whatever it was up and tasted it. Immediately, he spit it out.

"Uh, what is this?!" he said as if Chris gave him poison.

**"**Cat food." the human boy said innocently.

"Uggghhh! No wonder it tastes likes there's cat in it!"

Chris raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know what cat tastes like?"

Sonic looked from side to side as if to make sure no one was around before replying, "Um... I don't? Just... A guess...I mean... Uh..."

"Wouldn't that be, like, cannibalism?" Chris asked.

"Well no, it would be cannibalism if I ate another hedgehog. But cats are different," Sonic answered.

"Even anthropomorphic cats?"

"Well yeah! What other kinds of cats are there? I mean, really, that's like asking you if there are non-anthropomorphic humans."

"Well, I'm not sure about wherever you are from, but here, non-anthropomorphic cats are all we got."

Sonic's eyes bulged out of his head. If he had been drinking he would have done a spit take right there.

"WHAT?!"

"Well, yeah. The ones we have are kinda cute, though. They are all small and furry."

Sonic still gaped in shock at Chris' statement.

"W-what about hedgehogs?"

"They don't talk or anything either. I think you are the first anthropomorphic hedgehog on the planet."

This made Sonic's shock increase.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! WHAT KIND OF HEDGEHOGS DO YOU HAVE HERE?!"

"Just little spiky ones, they are kinda cute too. I was actually thinking the other day that I wanted one as a pet."

"A PET?!" Sonic screamed in shock, "HOW CAN YOU HAVE A HEDGEHOG AS A PET?! T-THAT'S JUST SICK!"

Chris put up his hands in defense towards Sonic's outburst.

"Well, I mean, they aren't really like you are, Sonic. They are just little animals. A lot of people have them as pets," he answered quickly.

"Oh, really? Well I wanna see one of these _little pet _hedgehogs," Sonic retorted with disgust.

Chris picked up his laptop and began searching on it saying, "I'm sure I can find a picture on here somewhere."

Soon he found a photograph of a real life hedgehog and turned it around for Sonic to see.

Sonic gasped in horror at the picture.

The "hedgehog" on the scream was a small, pointy, ball shaped creature with little limbs and a little snout. It looked NOTHING like this blue one looking at the photo.

"T-That's a hedgehog?!" Sonic asked in horror.

"Yup."

"Is that what ALL your hedgehogs look like?"

"Pretty much."

Sonic was silent for a moment. Then he abruptly grabbed Chris by his collar in a threatening manner and shouted, "WHAT DID YOU HUMANS DO TO THEM?!"

Chris cowered in fear, "N-nothing! I swear! That is just what hedgehogs look like!"

Sonic shook the boy violently.

"LIAR!"

"No! Really! It is!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM?! DID YOU EXPERIMENT ON THEM? THAT IS NOT WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE!"

"It is! I swear, Sonic!"

"I WILL MAKE YOU HUMANS PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HEDGEHOGS! YOU WILL FEEL MY RATH!"

With that, Sonic laughed maniacally and jumped off the balcony and ran away, releasing Chris.

Chris stood there, speechless.

Then Mr. Tanaka stepped out onto the balcony and apparently had been eavesdropping.

"Geez, wait 'til he sees what an echidna looks like here," he said.

Chris' eyes widened.

So, basically, nothing in Sonic X ever happened. Sonic went on with his attempt to make the humans pay for their cruelty against hedgehogs. Eventually, he found his friends and convinced them to join him. Chris went on with being the lonely boy with absolutely no fangirls (or fanboys for that matter) that everyone knows and doesn't love.

The End.

* * *

**Heh heh.**

**Yup, that is totally how it should have happened.**

**So, Sonic has eaten a cat before? You know, I do remember hearing something about Blaze having a sister... Before she mysteriously disappeared... DUN DUN DUN. **

**Well, I have no idea where this idea came from but let this just be your comic relief for the day. How have you guys been enjoying my one shot frenzy lately? :) **

**Remember to review and favorite! :)**

**Thanks and until next time,**

**Peace Out! :D**

**~SSB12**


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